laughing out loud by myself at 2 in the morning
I’ve recently decided to freeze myself to -273℃. My friends think I’ll die, but I’ll be 0K.
my english teacher used to collect street signs until her students began to steal them for her
like they stole a street sign
that said the street name
they also stole a stop sign in front of this loop in front of my school
and all 100 kids were like stealing signs
my english teacher was the head of a crime ring
I bet the principal didn’t want to believe it…
even though all the signs were there
yo lemme just smash my head into this fucking lamp for six hours
date idea: take me to ikea and play hide and seek with me
Bestest friend of mine.
Hey, Joe. I’m gonna turn the backseat into a dressing room so that I can change into a proper outfit for Madame, okay?
im always like hell yeah i’d survive an apocalypse and then i remember sometimes I nearly faint in the shower because the water is too hot